Rebel

I haven't been on here blogging in four months or so, I have been feeling like a rebel lately. I have always felt like a rebel or black sheep of my family and now that feeling is back. Have you ever felt the world is against you. No matter how hard you try to be good bad seems to follow you. I have dark thoughts about life but I see sunlight at the end of darkness. It has been hard for me to be motivated lately but I still hold my head up and stand with pride. I have always tried to be positive even when negativity creeps in. People call me a rebel but I'm a rebel with a cause. Some days if feels like I have no reasoning for being here than I look at my mom and God parents and I'm thankful for being here. Most people think of rebels as bad people but I have always been a rebel with meaning. A rebel to do good and not always bad. Even though I feel bad sometimes like there is a demon inside me, but I fight demons daily so I ask people that feel like me to keep your head up and stay focus and safe. Blessing be with you.

New Changes For A New Day.

Changing sometimes can be hard, but doing things you never done is change. I took a part of my life a change because I was not happy with myself. I said I was not going to live a lie no more so, I changed a lot about me. Instead of being in the closet about who I am I live out in the open about my sexuality. It was hard and scary but with support from family and friends I am loving me more. I said I wanted to go back to college, and I am there letting someone educate me instead of me educated myself. I said I would stop looking for love and let it find me, and it has. Be patient and let change come in your life, and life for a new day to make things better. In till next time please love yourself and each other. :) -Shari Gemini HInton

L.I.F.E.

Life sometimes I do not know the meaning, but I still try to live it. Lately, I had a lost my Grandmother died at 80. Even thow she lived a good life. I couldn't understand her passing and still do not, but however I have to deal with her passing and go on. I can not go to my Grandads because the smell of her makes me cry. Her room is still the same as the day she left it. I tried writing her a poem but I could not and most of the time writing helps me but not this time. Both of my moms have health issues and I just want to spend as much time with them as possible. So, people please cherish life because it hurts when you do not say bye forever.

Prayer

I am reading this book my step grandmother gave me called "31 Days of Prayer". I'm trying to be better in my life and serving God, and I really don't know much on how religion works but I know people, I know love, I know God. But prayer is something I have been able to connect with but I don't think I am doing it right, but I still pray daily. Talking with God has made me cool down in crazy situations. It has let me sleep better at night sometimes. Somethings that worry me is my mental illness. Is it God or is it in my mind? I have to ask that question daily. Why do I wake in a state of mind of hurt and depression? I hear voices that tell me to things pleasant and not so pleasant things. So, I have been using prayer so God can understand me and me to understand him. It has helped but I still feel alone and fearful of what my life has become. More and more everyday I turn the world away, and lean on God. I have one mans soul, one mans cry, and one mans try to do the right thing through the Lord. So days are dark most days are lonely, but I know through God I'll see the light and my days will be fulled with laughter. So world keep praying God's listening. The weight of the world maybe on your back but get on your knees and let the Lord attack. Peace, <3, and blessing.

R.I. P. Whitney Houston (1963-2012)

As a child I loved Whitney Houston, Michael Jackson, Prince, and Mariah Carey they was show stoppers to me. They made me love music and how to express myself through art. Music of joy, happiness, love, international issues made me respect and admire what they wrote and sung. I have a great appreciation for people that are real, and they seem as real as they came for people I didn't know. But their music is real and spoke to the soul. I still get moved when I hear Man In The Mirror, I will always love you, Purple Rain, and Hero. They did not have to change a nation, but they changed me inside and out through music what a blessing. So, do not judge them take a look in the mirror and applause people that are doing and saying good things no matter about their down falls is. We are all human. Love till you cannot love no more be blessed world! One Love -Shari Gemini Hinton (Motivational Circle)

Don't Judge Me!

Something has been bothering me for a couple of days I as a poor woman I don't have anything, but when I have it I'm helpful. I help till I can't help no more maybe that's why I don't have money. My helpful heart and as some say cold soul, but if I'm so cold how do I help? For the people that know me know I care. I care for the human race, sickness, animal humans, and others important issues. I love photography, music, and other enjoys of life. Yes, I have my days good and bad. I have a mental illness for sometimes my thinking is a risk, but I know how too correct that when my illness gets out of hand. All I know when you do good, good comes back. So, I'll continue to work on me while you work on you. Don't judge me till you know me, and still don't judge then. Motivational Circle was created because of hate, and judgement towards me and I knew there was others that has been hurt by hate. Been judged by strangers, and hating by haters. Keep smile and shinning world. One Love- Motivational Circle

Doing better is being better.

SEEING IS BELIEVE!!!! Help one person and you'll see things change, but if you don't change how do you things will change.